Unstoppable

I've been missing mom a lot this month. I see her in so many areas of my life. From the spunky little lady getting her car serviced to the tired woman pushing her grocery cart mom seems to be everywhere doing everything. I even see her in me...the things I say and do carry so much of her in them.

Her tenacity and strength, especially during the last couple of years here with us, amaze me even more today than when I was witness to them. Her stubborn independence frustrated me and made me proud, both at the same time, and her dry sense of humor reverberates through every memory I carry of her. Somehow she seemed to conquer all the struggles and hard times with little effort. I see more and more how God carried her through every illness and death she encountered in our circle of family and friends.

I realize now that her fierce independent streak was in her design from the beginning. It was God equipping her for survival even before she encountered those storms of life He knew would meet her. Those things were not a part of HIS plan but, knowing that life hurts often and that the enemy was alive, active and intentional about her destruction, God designed her spirit to overcome. He designed her to fight, even to thrive, during those times if she would choose Him to help her. She couldn't have made it alone. Depression and anger were too real and too close without His protection.

God has equipped us with our own set of survival skills. Life happens (often life hurts) and the fact that we make it to the starting line, in and of itself, is a miracle. Then the race begins. If it starts out smooth and level we are considered by many to be the "lucky" ones but so often it's an uphill battle from the very beginning. Where are you in this thing Paul called a "race"?

The up-hill climb, the resting station or enjoying the even-paced walk is all part of what life consists of. God's plan was nothing like the life we see being played out on our screen, in our hearts and with our families today. This life (or death) was what God described to Adam and Eve so long ago in the garden before they disobeyed and ate that "forbidden fruit". They handed over every good and perfect gift the Father had put them in charge of when He gave them authority over life. God has been lavishly and continually covering that error with His grace ever since.

Once I wrapped my mind around this one fact I began to understand a little more how mom seemed to live life so effortlessly. She focused all of her energy on giving everything to God - the good, the crazy, the messy - all of life. He displayed His amazing grace in all of it's splendor through her humor, her tenacity and her fierce independence that sometimes pushed this daughter to my limit...where God's grace could pick up and carry yet another generation through.

Give it to God - all of your hurts, your questions, even your unforgiveness. Allow Him the opportunity to carry you through this thing we call life. Don't try to do it without Him. In your sheer exhaustion of trying to figure it all out just dump it at His feet, climb up in His lap and let Him love you. When you have rested and it's time to move on, more likely than not, you will step down into the same circumstances you were in before...but this time something will be different. Your circumstances may not have changed but the you that climbed up into the Father's lap will have. You will find a different you to run the race - to live the life. A healed you in place of the brokenness. A strong you in place of the exhaustion. The "you" God has designed and provided for to make it through the race to the prize - and the restful joy our hearts so deeply long for.

"Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6

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